when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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