He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
