Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
