my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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