Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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