Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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