it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
