I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
