I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
