Do you still have your period?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
