I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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