even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
