My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize