its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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