she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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