Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
