you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
