it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
