accomplished twins. life is a go
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
