Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
