Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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