I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
