I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Sacagawea was the original milf.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
