Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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