i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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