you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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