I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
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