Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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