So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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