it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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