I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
