Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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