Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
