Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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