i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i need some magic done to my vagina
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
