You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
