ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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