I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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