i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
