no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
