how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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