He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Your cock deserves a montage
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
