# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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