If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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