Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
