I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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