Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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