So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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