i just wanna soil my oats bro
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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