I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
All the doctor said was why
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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