4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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