Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
