and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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