Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
They have beer where we have blood.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
