its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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