i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize