so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
