Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
