now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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