took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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