Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I need a beard to bite.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
