good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
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She just used a chaser for red wine.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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